It was about a week of surrendering — which looked like laying down my life, my thoughts, and every decision in front of God every morning — when I started to be aware of the difference it was having on my life.

And if I’m being honest… I didn’t just do it once each day. I found myself slipping back into my old ways more times than I can count.

Trying to take control.
Trying to figure it all out on my own.
Reverting back to what feels familiar.

So I would surrender again.
And again.
And again.

Then I began to understand something I didn’t fully grasp before—

Surrender is a continuous choice.

And that hasn’t come easy for me.

I’ve always been independent.
Strong-willed.
Stubborn, if I’m being real.

But even in all of my faults and failures… God has never turned His back on me.

Not once.

What amazes me even more is realizing that He’s been using all of it—every season, every mistake, every hard moment—to shape me into who he planned for me to be.

And for the first time…all of the struggles are starting to seem worthwhile.

I am far from perfect.
And I know I never will be — well, until I join Jesus in Heaven.

But, I’ve seen the hand of God working in my life, firsthand. & I can feel myself slowly letting go of the illusion of control that I clung so tightly to.

I’m learning to loosen my grip.

To release the need to have everything figured out.

To stop fighting for control that was never mine to begin with.

Because the truth is—

God has had control this entire time.

I was just allowing my human nature to get in the way.

Letting my fear, and my desire to control everything hinder what He was trying to do in me.

But not anymore.

I’m choosing to lay it all down.

My life.
My decisions.
My family.
My income.
My job.
My mental health.
My physical health.

All of it.

I don’t want to live in that place of stubbornness anymore.
I don’t want to keep striving in my own strength and calling it peace.

So today, and tomorrow, and the next day…

I’ll keep choosing this:

God, I surrender.
Lead me.
Guide me.
Use me.

I am Yours.

Save